traditions – Salty Dictionary

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29.9k Views17 Comments410 Votes

Black History Month

Annual Celebration of Ingratitude, Dissatisfaction, Abomination, Bickering and Resentment by African Americans.

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17.1k Views15 Comments11 Votes

Bible

Ancient fantasy publication about made-up events in the parallel universe

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21.5k Views11 Comments326 Votes

Easter

A Christian holiday acknowledging the existence of Zombies by commemorating the resurrection of Jesus from the dead on the third day after his burial following his crucifixion.

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19.6k Views9 Comments288 Votes

Thanksgiving

North American annual celebration for diabetes and heart attacks.

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23.5k Views8 Comments351 Votes

Christmas

The time of the year people sit in front of a plastic tree, eat candy out of socks, and listen 50’s music.

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18.8k Views8 Comments261 Votes

Father's Day

The day to acknowledge unappreciated ATM machines.

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18.8k Views5 Comments260 Votes

International Women’s Day

The day we celebrate the hard work of being born with two X-Chromosomes.

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14.6k Views5 Comments223 Votes

Memorial Day

Annual mattress buying event for Americans.

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18.8k Views5 Comments264 Votes

4th of July

Another excuse to get drunk and light things on fire.

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20.1k Views4 Comments266 Votes

Halloween

The only time kids are encouraged to take candy from strangers

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13.5k Views3 Comments227 Votes

Mother's Day

The acknowledgment of free domestic maid services.

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20k Views3 Comments256 Votes

Good Friday

The day Jesus’ last words were not “TGİF”

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