The 2026 blowout at Levi’s Stadium where the Seattle Seahawks steamrolled the New England Patriots 29-13 while California celebrated by taxing all player salaries for the entire season under its new “Fair Share Super Bowl Tax.
The 2026 blowout at Levi’s Stadium where the Seattle Seahawks steamrolled the New England Patriots 29-13 while California celebrated by taxing all player salaries for the entire season under its new “Fair Share Super Bowl Tax.
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Seattle’s defensive clinic in Santa Clara that shut out the Patriots until garbage time and handed Mike Macdonald a Lombardi in his first year while denying New England ring number seven.
The Battle of the Authoritarian Bureaucrats, where West Coast Communists beat the East Coast Socialists 29-13.
The championship where both teams took a knee during the anthem, the flyover was performed by electric drones to reduce the carbon footprint, and the trophy was presented by a UN committee.
The game memorable only for its catastrophic halftime show, featuring an AI-generated hologram of a 1990s pop star performing a auto-tuned duet with a TikTok influencer about crypto.
The cure for insomnia disguised as a championship, a 29-13 procedural win by the Seahawks so devoid of drama that the most exciting play was a penalty flag getting stuck in the goalpost.