Salty Dictionary – Express Yourself

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World Cup 2026 Ticket Prices

The pricing model where a family of four needs a small loan just to watch 22 millionaires kick a ball around.

270 Points
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31.1k Views1 Comment

Trader Joe's

The progressive grocery mecca that mastered the art of making basic food feel artisanal while still charging you like it’s artisanal.

303 Points
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28.9k Views2 Comments

Islamic Tribunal

The Sharia court that operates in Western countries with more authority than actual Western courts in certain zip codes.

283 Points
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30k Views3 Comments

Trump Deadline Trades

The strategy of betting against stability every time Trump gives the world a countdown clock.

294 Points
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25.4k Views4 Comments

Title IX

The federal rule that turned “sex” into “gender identity” and turned women’s athletics into a participation trophy for mentally-ill men.

243 Points
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26.8k Views4 Comments

Department of Education

The federal bureaucracy that proved you can spend infinite money on education and still graduate students who can’t read their own diplomas.

252 Points
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27.1k Views4 Comments

Gun-Free Zones

The progressive security illusion that disarms teachers, shoppers, and churchgoers while guaranteeing the shooter has a monopoly on firepower.

271 Points
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25.4k Views4 Comments

The Free Press

The publication that proves the only truly free press left is the one that doesn’t rely on corporate sponsors or government access.

245 Points
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26.7k Views4 Comments

Germany's 67-Point Climate Plan

The bureaucratic fantasy that proves Germans will over-engineer everything, including their own self-destruction.

248 Points
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20.2k Views4 Comments

Parental Rights & Education Policy

The radical demand that schools stop secretly changing children’s names, pronouns, and identities behind their parents’ backs.

204 Points
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27.7k Views4 Comments

Superconductor

The technology that exists mostly in press releases and grant proposals, rarely in actual working devices.

235 Points
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24.3k Views3 Comments

Unmanned Supersonic Fighter Jets

The ultimate evolution of warfare, where machines fly faster than sound but make decisions slower than Congress

224 Points
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24.6k Views3 Comments

US, Iran, Israel Agreeing To 2-Week Ceasefire

The Middle East version of a “relationship break” where everyone agrees to stop fighting for two weeks before immediately reloading.

240 Points
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26.4k Views2 Comments

Case Study Houses

The mid-century modernist experiment where architects built glass boxes in the California hills and pretended that living in a fishbowl was the future of human happiness.

247 Points
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27.8k Views4 Comments

Taco Tuesday

The expected trading pattern following Trump’s weekend threats.

272 Points
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29.9k Views3 Comments

Dopamine

The brain chemical that evolved for survival but now works overtime for porn, doomscrolling, and social media likes.

301 Points
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29.9k Views4 Comments

White Working Class

The people who pay the taxes that fund diversity programs designed to replace them.

295 Points
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30k Views4 Comments

Kanye West Banned From UK

The ban that proves the UK has zero tolerance for wrong opinions but unlimited tolerance for actual terrorism and mass migration chaos.

279 Points
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29.4k Views4 Comments

Jekyll and Hyde

The perfect metaphor for every “moderate” Democrat who becomes a raging authoritarian the moment they get power.

292 Points
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28.9k Views5 Comments

Trump's 'Whole Civilization Will Die Tonight' Deadline

The rhetorical nuke that made Iran realize America might actually mean what it says for once.

289 Points
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30k Views2 Comments

Guns For Protesters

The brilliant U.S. plan that ended with the Kurds better armed, the Iranians more paranoid, and the protesters caught in the crossfire.

296 Points
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28.8k Views3 Comments

Modern Parents

The exhausted creatures who outsource raising their children to technology, schools, and gender ideology

288 Points
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28.8k Views3 Comments

Royal Caribbean

The floating open buffet with a casino that charges you extra for everything except regret and flu virus.

289 Points
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24.3k Views3 Comments

Gilgamesh

The ancient Sumerian Chad who built walls, rejected goddesses, and then had a complete existential meltdown when his bro Enkidu kicked the bucket.

239 Points
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33.2k Views3 Comments

Epic of Gilgamesh

The original “bromance that ends in existential crisis” written thousands of years before Hollywood discovered the formula.

300 Points
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26.7k Views4 Comments

Old Testament

The ancient scripture that reminds us God once had a much lower tolerance for nonsense and a much higher body count.

266 Points
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17.9k Views5 Comments

Anunnaki

The original “ancient astronauts” theory that claims Sumerian civilization was jump-started by extraterrestrial middle managers.

169 Points
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28.8k Views3 Comments

Building Permit

The modern feudal indulgence you must purchase from local officials before you’re allowed to improve your own property.

282 Points
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22.3k Views5 Comments

Straw Man Fallacy

The rhetorical cheat code that lets weak ideas survive by fighting imaginary strong opponents.

219 Points
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27.7k Views4 Comments

Moon Moving Away at 3.8 cm Per Year

The slow cosmic divorce, proving even celestial bodies eventually need space.

275 Points
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25.7k Views4 Comments

San Diego

The once beautiful California coastal city that turned into Tijuana with better weather and worse traffic.

256 Points
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27.9k Views4 Comments

Pacific Ocean

The ocean that separates California from reality and the U.S. mainland from the rapidly expanding Chinese navy.

270 Points
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25.7k Views5 Comments

Epoch Times

The paper that built a loyal audience by simply doing old-fashioned journalism while legacy outlets were busy writing press releases for the regime.

253 Points
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30.2k Views6 Comments

Brownstone Institute

The tiny group of dissident intellectuals who dared to question the pandemic madness while the rest of academia was busy licking boots.

302 Points
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16.5k Views3 Comments

Alcatraz

The perfect symbol of old-fashioned common sense: if someone is too dangerous for society, put them on a rock in the middle of the bay.

163 Points
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28.8k Views4 Comments

Espresso Machine

The over-engineered contraption that makes simple coffee feel like rocket science and simple mornings feel like a hostage situation.

270 Points
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25.9k Views4 Comments

Prediction Markets

The financial tool that makes pundits, pollsters, and “experts” look like clowns on a daily basis.

251 Points
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27.7k Views4 Comments

Higher Energy Prices

The silent wealth transfer from working families to political donors and foreign energy suppliers.

279 Points
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18.8k Views2 Comments

Removing LGBT Books From Kids' Section

The dangerous extremism of believing 6-year-olds don’t need illustrated guides to gender ideology and adult sexual practices.

184 Points
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26.8k Views4 Comments

Antonio Gramsci

The father of modern cultural Marxism, who taught leftists to conquer institutions from within rather than fight them from without.

267 Points
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28.8k Views5 Comments

Norm Eisen

The Lawfare ninja who spent a decade trying to turn Donald Trump into a convicted felon through every legal trick in the book.

284 Points
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31.5k Views15 Comments

Easter

A Christian holiday acknowledging the existence of Zombies by commemorating the resurrection of Jesus from the dead on the third day after his burial following his crucifixion.

332 Points
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26.8k Views5 Comments

"Open the Fuckin' Strait"

The evolution of American diplomacy from “Talk softly and carry a big stick” to using profanity without a stick.

264 Points
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27.9k Views5 Comments

International Energy Agency

The elite climate cult that spends millions flying to conferences to discuss how poor people should freeze in the dark for the greater good.

271 Points
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24.6k Views3 Comments

CCP Spyware

The digital leash China quietly attaches to millions of Western users under the innocent label of “affordable technology.”

245 Points
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28.9k Views3 Comments

Rescue of American Pilots in Iran

The successful rescue that exposed how some Americans root harder for enemy victories than for their own pilots’ safe return.

279 Points
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26.7k Views4 Comments

Colorado Forces Lawyers To Swear They Won't Help Feds

The loyalty oath where attorneys must pledge to break the federal law or get locked out of the entire state court e-filing system.

253 Points
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28.9k Views4 Comments

VPN

The modern digital condom that lets you browse the internet without Big Tech, governments, or your ISP watching every click.

283 Points
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31k Views6 Comments

Compelled Speech

The authoritarian art of forcing people to say things they don’t believe, then punishing them for remaining silent.

301 Points
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19.5k Views3 Comments

Office of Refugee Resettlement

The quiet enabler of the border crisis that treats missing children as an acceptable cost of doing political business.

179 Points
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