FIFA’s genius way of sneaking in more commercial breaks by pretending million-dollar athletes need sippy cups every 30 minutes.
FIFA’s genius way of sneaking in more commercial breaks by pretending million-dollar athletes need sippy cups every 30 minutes.
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Proof that even soccer is being slowly corrupted into endless commercial entertainment with fake concern for player health as cover.
The rule that lets broadcasters squeeze in more revenue while pretending they’re worried about athletes getting thirsty.
FIFA’s brilliant innovation: slowing down the game, Americanizing it with constant interruptions, and calling it “player safety.”
The new World Cup rule that pauses the match so millionaires can sip electrolytes while fans in the stands bake in 110-degree heat with $12 bottled water.
The official announcement that even the world’s best athletes need mommy to bring them juice boxes during competition.