Salty Dictionary – Express Yourself

25k Views46 Comments

Abridged Collection of Interdisciplinary Laws

Collection of sarcastic proverbs. The collection started in 1974, when Conrad Schneiker first typed in Murphy’s Laws to explore the workings of a new computer at the University of Arizona Computing Center. He added a couple of pages of other […]

385 Points
Upvote Downvote
28.9k Views4 Comments

Invisible Hand

Adam Smith’s conspiracy theory that free individuals pursuing their own self-interest unintentionally create the best outcomes for society.

290 Points
Upvote Downvote
28.9k Views2 Comments

Minnesota Daycare

The state-sponsored money laundering operation where Somali immigrants discovered that pretending to watch imaginary children was more profitable than actual work.

281 Points
Upvote Downvote
26.8k Views4 Comments

Reincarnation

The feel-good theology that lets people avoid confronting mortality by pretending they’ll get unlimited do-overs.

268 Points
Upvote Downvote
27.9k Views3 Comments

“Obesity Rights” Coalition

The brave advocacy group fighting for the fundamental human right to remain dangerously unhealthy while demanding society accommodate their choices.

280 Points
Upvote Downvote
28.8k Views9 Comments

Parental Rights

The radical notion that moms and dads should have primary authority over their own children instead of teachers, counselors, and government bureaucrats.

271 Points
Upvote Downvote
27.8k Views4 Comments

Hectoring

The art of talking down to people like disobedient children while pretending you’re having a conversation.

270 Points
Upvote Downvote
30k Views10 Comments

MAGA

The four letters that instantly separate people who want functional borders, competence, merit-based system and strong communities from those who want open borders, pronouns, and totalitarian dictatorship.

304 Points
Upvote Downvote
30k Views2 Comments

Iran Stalling Peace Deal

Iran buying time to enrich uranium, carefully guided by a Democrat Party desperate to manufacture a crisis they can blame on Trump ahead of midterms.

291 Points
Upvote Downvote
25.7k Views1 Comment

Special Workshops

The mandatory corporate re-education sessions where grown adults are taught how not to be racist by people who make everything about race.

256 Points
Upvote Downvote
24.6k Views1 Comment

Mimetic Theory

The philosophical realization that most of human desire is just sophisticated copycat behavior dressed up as personal authenticity.

245 Points
Upvote Downvote
29.8k Views6 Comments

Federalized Europe

The slow-motion suicide pact where European countries traded sovereignty for the privilege of being lectured by Germany and France on how to destroy themselves.

293 Points
Upvote Downvote
27.8k Views3 Comments

GLP-1 Weight-Loss Drugs

The pharmaceutical cheat code that lets people lose 15% of their body weight while their digestive system is being destroyed in the process.

261 Points
Upvote Downvote
37k Views12 Comments

American Dream

The idea that anyone could rise from nothing through effort and merit, replaced with equity, reparations, and systemic explanations for personal failure.

380 Points
Upvote Downvote
24k Views51 Comments

Coronavirus Outbreak

Made in China virus, which has infected hundreds since the outbreak began in Wuhan, China, in December.

360 Points
Upvote Downvote
23.4k Views36 Comments

Oscars 2021

Woke dictatorship irrelevant propaganda event that nobody watched.

352 Points
Upvote Downvote
31.1k Views9 Comments

Silent Majority

The quiet, productive backbone of society that pays the taxes, follows the rules, and gets called every name in the book for not joining the latest moral panic.

311 Points
Upvote Downvote
26.7k Views3 Comments

Dip-Buyers

The financial masochists who see red numbers and think “discount!” while smart money is quietly heading for the exits.

265 Points
Upvote Downvote
28.9k Views4 Comments

Kitchen Island

The overpriced granite altar that every suburban couple fights over during home renovations, even though it mostly collects mail and abandoned Amazon boxes.

283 Points
Upvote Downvote
29.9k Views0 Comments

Big Government

The world’s most expensive problem-solving machine that never solves problems, only creates new departments to study them.

297 Points
Upvote Downvote
5.9k Views0 Comments

Olive Garden

Italian McDonald’s where people go to eat bread sticks.

182 Points
Upvote Downvote
24.6k Views5 Comments

Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC)

Iran’s parallel military that answers to the Supreme Leader, runs the economy, and protects the regime by bombing neighbors, arming proxies, and crushing protests at home.

225 Points
Upvote Downvote
11.2k Views0 Comments

Chris Cuomo

The obnoxious anchor and bad reporter who’s fired from CNN after his brother former NY governor Andrew Cuomo is dumped by the party and lost his job.

220 Points
Upvote Downvote
15.7k Views3 Comments

Booming Economy

The code term for “the rich are doing fine” and “everyone else should stop complaining.”

162 Points
Upvote Downvote
12.6k Views3 Comments

Team work

an opportunity to put the blame on someone else

233 Points
Upvote Downvote
25.4k Views7 Comments

Project Stargate

The U.S. government’s extremely serious $20 million psychic espionage program that spent two decades trying to weaponize remote viewing, astral projection, and spoon-bending before quietly admitting it was mostly expensive witchcraft.

251 Points
Upvote Downvote
25.6k Views4 Comments

AI-fabricated Polls

The modern media sorcery that lets failing newsrooms manufacture public opinion with a few clever prompts and zero actual humans.

258 Points
Upvote Downvote
21.6k Views2 Comments

Reza Pahlavi

Exiled Crown Prince of Iran who wants to replace the religious autocracy with a secular autocracy.

256 Points
Upvote Downvote
20.3k Views3 Comments

Gazprom

The energy supplier the EU pretends to have divorced while still sneaking in for weekend visits through third-party terminals.

252 Points
Upvote Downvote
11.7k Views0 Comments

Netflix's Perfect Society

Gender: 90% Gay, 5% Non-binary, 4% Bisexual, 1% Straight with psychological disorders. Race: 80% Black, 10% Asian, 5% Hispanic, 5% White Supremacist.

377 Points
Upvote Downvote
15.7k Views5 Comments

Tennessee

The first unwoke state to ban drag shows for minors.

241 Points
Upvote Downvote
14.6k Views2 Comments

Invisible Gorilla

The original “Are you even paying attention?” meme, scientifically validated in a lab coat.

147 Points
Upvote Downvote
11.7k Views4 Comments

Gun-toting St.Louis couple

Shameless White people who dared to defend their home

420 Points
Upvote Downvote
17.1k Views4 Comments

Irony

The difference between what a reader expects to happen and what actually happens.

184 Points
Upvote Downvote
9k Views2 Comments

Nerd

Someone who’s IQ exceed his/her weight.

206 Points
Upvote Downvote
12.4k Views6 Comments

Artificial intelligence

Something which is no match for natural stupidity

236 Points
Upvote Downvote
24.1k Views24 Comments

Nancy Pelosi

One of the biggest frauds in the history of American Politics

293 Points
Upvote Downvote
20.9k Views8 Comments

Freedom Convoy

Canadian truckers’ protest against the totalitarian Canadian government.

279 Points
Upvote Downvote
17.1k Views5 Comments

Plato

Best Question-Asker Ever Lived

240 Points
Upvote Downvote
13.5k Views19 Comments

Trump Impeachment

A civil coup d’etat attempt by democrats

16 Points
Upvote Downvote
18k Views1 Comment

Deplorable

A pejorative term coined by Hillary Clinton to insult Trump supporters who believe in individual freedoms and refuse to be part of the totalitarian collective, well-educated, law-obeying, tax-paying, mostly White middle-class Americans.

513 Points
Upvote Downvote
18k Views3 Comments

Birthday

A day to celebrate that you haven’t died in the last year

1 Point
Upvote Downvote
24.7k Views6 Comments

US-Qatar Business Council

The elite networking society where doing business with a major terror financier gets rebranded as “smart geopolitics.”

257 Points
Upvote Downvote
23.5k Views3 Comments

Tucker Carlson Putin Interview

Potential journalism event that makes neocons melt down.

307 Points
Upvote Downvote
10.2k Views1 Comment

In Line with Expectations

Wall Street lingo for “Rigged”

197 Points
Upvote Downvote
21.2k Views5 Comments

Google AI

The search engine overlord that now tells you what to think instead of what to search for.

203 Points
Upvote Downvote
7.5k Views0 Comments

Czech Republic

A Godless nation full of depravity and the highest capita of porn stars in the world.

191 Points
Upvote Downvote
17.9k Views2 Comments

FAA

Also known as ‘Federal Aviation Administration’, a government entity whose primary mission is to fight White Supremacy

237 Points
Upvote Downvote
19.8k Views9 Comments

Thanksgiving

North American annual celebration for diabetes and heart attacks.

291 Points
Upvote Downvote
28k Views8 Comments

Colorado

The land where criminals are rewarded and democrats thrive.

274 Points
Upvote Downvote

Congratulations. You've reached the end of the internet.

Log In

Sign In

Forgot password?

Your password reset link appears to be invalid or expired.

Log in

Privacy Policy

Add to Collection

No Collections