animals – Salty Dictionary

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19.9k Views8 Comments266 Votes

Golden Retriever

A social requirement for the white middle class families with two kids and SUV.

266 Points
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17.1k Views7 Comments189 Votes

Cow

A biological machine invented by humans to turn grass into steak

189 Points
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22.4k Views5 Comments218 Votes

Robot Ants

The future of pest control where the pests are now programmable, networked, and probably unionized.

218 Points
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11.7k Views4 Comments159 Votes

Chicken

The only animal we eat before it is born and after it is dead

159 Points
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22.2k Views4 Comments287 Votes

Mouse Utopia Experiment

The research experiment conducted by John Calhoun in the 1960s to create a welfare state for mice which collapsed into extinction despite all the mice’s material needs being satisfied.

287 Points
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8.5k Views3 Comments201 Votes

Animal Rights

A hypocritical concept, which applies only to animals that are pretty, big, cute, furry, huggable, lovable, or rare. Animals with Rights: Cats, Dogs, Dolphins, Whales, Cute bunnies, Panda Animals without Rights: Cockroaches, flies, sharks, tuna in tuna nets, scorpions, ants.

201 Points
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18.3k Views3 Comments268 Votes

Animal Cruelty

The first step of becoming a serial killer

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18.7k Views3 Comments189 Votes

Chimpanzee 'Civil War'

The violent reminder that hierarchy, territory, and in-group preference are hardwired.

189 Points
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18k Views2 Comments2 Votes

Mosquito

An insect that makes you like flies better

2 Points
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17.1k Views2 Comments200 Votes

Fifty

Seven-year old in dog years

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17.1k Views2 Comments165 Votes

Zoo

Animal Concentration Camp

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10.8k Views1 Comment413 Votes

Jockey

A little human who makes little horses look big

413 Points
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