family – Salty Dictionary

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32.3k Views10 Comments324 Votes

Mother's Day

The acknowledgment of free domestic maid services.

324 Points
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18.9k Views8 Comments261 Votes

Father's Day

The day to acknowledge unappreciated ATM machines.

261 Points
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10.8k Views6 Comments226 Votes

Father

ATM Machine

226 Points
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25.7k Views6 Comments258 Votes

Surrogacy

The upscale baby rental service where wealthy people pay poor women to grow their custom-ordered children like designer handbags.

258 Points
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28.9k Views5 Comments283 Votes

Marriage Vows

The beautiful lies exchanged during the most expensive day of most people’s lives.

283 Points
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25.4k Views4 Comments241 Votes

Family Vacation

The modern tradition of trading domestic arguments for exotic arguments in locations with better scenery and worse food options.

241 Points
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28.8k Views4 Comments275 Votes

Gay Marriage

The legal fiction that required rewriting biology, language, and thousands of years of human tradition to accommodate a tiny minority.

275 Points
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11.7k Views3 Comments297 Votes

Husband

A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife’s permission to say so

297 Points
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30k Views3 Comments292 Votes

Road Trip

The expensive way to discover how much you actually hate the people you claim to love.

292 Points
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20.1k Views3 Comments254 Votes

Son-in-Law

The human proof of your daughter’s questionable taste.

254 Points
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17.1k Views3 Comments189 Votes

Pet

The only member of the family you actually choose.

189 Points
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10.3k Views2 Comments219 Votes

Tata

A legendary figure known for his storytelling, endless wisdom, and the ability to fix anything with duct tape.

219 Points
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