trading – Salty Dictionary

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25.4k Views7 Comments247 Votes

ETF

The financial innovation that lets you lose money in 500 different companies at the same time for maximum diversification.

247 Points
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22.4k Views6 Comments226 Votes

Robinhood

The commission-free online stock broker that steals from the poor and gives to the rich.

226 Points
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18k Views5 Comments242 Votes

Insider Trading

The main source of Nancy Pelosi’s wealth

242 Points
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27.9k Views5 Comments278 Votes

Futures

The sophisticated way to bet on tomorrow’s prices today while pretending you’re doing serious financial analysis instead of glorified gambling.

278 Points
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30k Views5 Comments295 Votes

Trump Deadline Trades

The strategy of betting against stability every time Trump gives the world a countdown clock.

295 Points
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22.4k Views4 Comments224 Votes

Hedge Fund

The elite casino where managers bet other people’s money, charge 2% just for showing up, and keep 20% of winnings while investors eat the losses.

224 Points
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27.7k Views4 Comments268 Votes

CFTC

The abbreviation for the government agency “Commodity Futures Trading Commission,” the one that watches the casino but only steps in after the roulette wheel falls off the table.

268 Points
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27.8k Views4 Comments272 Votes

Taco Tuesday

The expected trading pattern following Trump’s weekend threats.

272 Points
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19.2k Views3 Comments270 Votes

Plunge Protection Team (PPT)

Government-controlled market manipulation entity.

270 Points
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18.7k Views3 Comments243 Votes

Charlie Munger

Warren Buffet’s insider trading buddy who died at the age of 99.

243 Points
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26.7k Views3 Comments265 Votes

Dip-Buyers

The financial masochists who see red numbers and think “discount!” while smart money is quietly heading for the exits.

265 Points
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22.1k Views2 Comments215 Votes

Tastytrade

The online trading platform that sells “education” on options trading then profits when students blow up their accounts chasing high-probability setups.

215 Points
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