holidays – Salty Dictionary

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17.5k Views17 Comments294 Votes

Presidents' Day

National Mattress and Appliance Buying Day

294 Points
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19.7k Views9 Comments291 Votes

Thanksgiving

North American annual celebration for diabetes and heart attacks.

291 Points
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23.5k Views8 Comments355 Votes

Christmas

The time of the year people sit in front of a plastic tree, eat candy out of socks, and listen 50’s music.

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18.3k Views8 Comments246 Votes

Saint Patrick's Day

The day to get drunk on green beer to celebrate the arrival of Christianity in Ireland.

246 Points
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14.6k Views5 Comments223 Votes

Memorial Day

Annual mattress buying event for Americans.

223 Points
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18.8k Views5 Comments264 Votes

4th of July

Another excuse to get drunk and light things on fire.

264 Points
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28.6k Views3 Comments334 Votes

Labor Day

The only official Monday that doesn’t suck

334 Points
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20k Views3 Comments256 Votes

Good Friday

The day Jesus’ last words were not “TGİF”

256 Points
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18k Views1 Comment489 Votes

Mattress

A furniture you must buy at Memorial Day

489 Points
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16.3k Views1 Comment260 Votes

Hanukkah

Jewish Christmas without awkward explanations of virgin birth

260 Points
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18.8k Views1 Comment267 Votes

Kwanzaa

The ultimate politically-correct fake holiday only white liberals observe.

267 Points
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